There's a saying that people toss out casually when they learn you are having troubles. It's "God only gives you as much as you can handle." I recently read an article that refuted that. And even that article doesn't begin to touch on how angry I feel when people tell me that.

I'm at a point of certain I cannot cntinue on the path I am on. I'm weary. I'm tired of people telling me how much they admire me, think I'm Supermom. I'm not someone to be admired. I'm not Supermom. I'm a living, breathing, walking talking failure at all I've taken on. Because I have chosen poorly in my past. I can choose better in my future, but that doesn't fix the circumstances I live with now.

I will be honest. I'm terrifically frightened of what lies in my immediate future. I am very up in the air with a lot in my life, and I hate that feeling. I feeling a LOT like Raymond from the movie "Rainman", when he realized he was going to miss Judge Wapner. I'm more than a bit frantic right now.

So please, don't tell me that God never gives us more than we can handle, because right now, I'm staring at a tough old elephant for dinner, with no fork, knife, salt or butter.