I've decided to start knitting custom knits. MAINLY woolies(soakers and longies to cover cloth diapers), but I'll take on just about anything.
So there's an etsy store in the making and a facebook page. Look for fibersnob on facebook and fibersnobbed on etsy!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
There's a saying that people toss out casually when they learn you are having troubles. It's "God only gives you as much as you can handle." I recently read an article that refuted that. And even that article doesn't begin to touch on how angry I feel when people tell me that.
I'm at a point of certain I cannot cntinue on the path I am on. I'm weary. I'm tired of people telling me how much they admire me, think I'm Supermom. I'm not someone to be admired. I'm not Supermom. I'm a living, breathing, walking talking failure at all I've taken on. Because I have chosen poorly in my past. I can choose better in my future, but that doesn't fix the circumstances I live with now.
I will be honest. I'm terrifically frightened of what lies in my immediate future. I am very up in the air with a lot in my life, and I hate that feeling. I feeling a LOT like Raymond from the movie "Rainman", when he realized he was going to miss Judge Wapner. I'm more than a bit frantic right now.
So please, don't tell me that God never gives us more than we can handle, because right now, I'm staring at a tough old elephant for dinner, with no fork, knife, salt or butter.
I'm at a point of certain I cannot cntinue on the path I am on. I'm weary. I'm tired of people telling me how much they admire me, think I'm Supermom. I'm not someone to be admired. I'm not Supermom. I'm a living, breathing, walking talking failure at all I've taken on. Because I have chosen poorly in my past. I can choose better in my future, but that doesn't fix the circumstances I live with now.
I will be honest. I'm terrifically frightened of what lies in my immediate future. I am very up in the air with a lot in my life, and I hate that feeling. I feeling a LOT like Raymond from the movie "Rainman", when he realized he was going to miss Judge Wapner. I'm more than a bit frantic right now.
So please, don't tell me that God never gives us more than we can handle, because right now, I'm staring at a tough old elephant for dinner, with no fork, knife, salt or butter.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Too too long
It's been entirely too long again since I blogged! I've gotten slack since moving back down south.
The barn is still in proress. Darling has bounced from job to job a few times since being laid off from the oil rigs, so finances have been a wee tight. We still have all the goats however! In fact, the goats have been saving the day! I started a small business that seems to have exploded...I am That Crazy Goat Lady(like us on facebook! My husband will tell you) and I have a ton of flavors. My darling love shared some with people who work at Cabela's in Sidney, Nebraska and they claimed my fudge to be better than Cabela's. *blush*
And we had a big surprise take us by stoem on Mother's Day, and then a few weeks later in person.
I am now a grandma. o.O
My oldest child chose Mother's Day to break the news of her impending pregnancy and a few weeks later Frodo arrived approximately 6 to 8 weeks early, after Teen's water broke in the tornadoes that hit Tiny Town, Wyoming on June 8 of this year. He is doing marvelously however, and he and his Mama now are back home with us full time so Grandmoogle can babysit while Mama finishes school. It's not easy for most people to understand when I say how proud I am of her, but if you knew our long story, you would. That little man has changed her life in so many marvelous ways! He and Uncle Rocketman are the best of friends and will one day terrorize the neighborhood!
I'm just busy trying to finish Christmas fudge for family and friends to mail out next week, so I don't get caught in the holiday rush like I always do.
Hoping to get back here sometime this week again!
The barn is still in proress. Darling has bounced from job to job a few times since being laid off from the oil rigs, so finances have been a wee tight. We still have all the goats however! In fact, the goats have been saving the day! I started a small business that seems to have exploded...I am That Crazy Goat Lady(like us on facebook! My husband will tell you) and I have a ton of flavors. My darling love shared some with people who work at Cabela's in Sidney, Nebraska and they claimed my fudge to be better than Cabela's. *blush*
And we had a big surprise take us by stoem on Mother's Day, and then a few weeks later in person.
I am now a grandma. o.O
My oldest child chose Mother's Day to break the news of her impending pregnancy and a few weeks later Frodo arrived approximately 6 to 8 weeks early, after Teen's water broke in the tornadoes that hit Tiny Town, Wyoming on June 8 of this year. He is doing marvelously however, and he and his Mama now are back home with us full time so Grandmoogle can babysit while Mama finishes school. It's not easy for most people to understand when I say how proud I am of her, but if you knew our long story, you would. That little man has changed her life in so many marvelous ways! He and Uncle Rocketman are the best of friends and will one day terrorize the neighborhood!
I'm just busy trying to finish Christmas fudge for family and friends to mail out next week, so I don't get caught in the holiday rush like I always do.
Hoping to get back here sometime this week again!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Life marches on
So let's see....since my last post over a year ago...we've brought home the Teenager. We've set Dad off to work in the oil fields. We've welcome a new little man. We've finalizedour foreclosure after 2 years of battling to keep the house. We've moved. We've brought Dad home from the oil fields.
So now, we're renovating what I hope will be the last place we move to. It's a single wide mobile home, 1993, that has been owned by older families with untrained pets. It needs...help.
Step one: Rip out carpet. Check.
Step two: replace hall floor. Check.
Dad screws the particle board down
Meanwhile...
Rocket Man learns to be independent and read a book. And the doctors worry about literacy in our family O_o
and Tink celebrates her 10th birthday.
New adventures all around!
So now, we're renovating what I hope will be the last place we move to. It's a single wide mobile home, 1993, that has been owned by older families with untrained pets. It needs...help.
Step one: Rip out carpet. Check.
Step two: replace hall floor. Check.
Don Juan helps sand the old glue off the supports
Dad screws the particle board down
New adventures all around!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
In one weekend
They both grew up.
The Teenager was home for 5 days. We had a few snarls, but nothing major, and she's making concessions she was never able to make before.
And I heard the word "College" from her for the very first time, with intent, instead of derision. She has no idea where, she has no idea what, but it's there. She even has some oddly unique opportunities because of being in the state system the last 18 months. Strange how things work, isn't it?
And my sanity maker came home from her very first youth group ski trip, with her hands full of information on colleges, her eyes all aglow, with very specific direction. She knows where, she knows what.
It's so strange to watch them slouch through the house, stride with purpose through the house, chatter to each other and recall in a flash, how small and dependent they once were. I see them as a child, yet suddenly, in front of me, here are two incredibly gorgeous women. Where did they come from?
Oh yeah. Me.
I wish I could slow down time or even stop it for while, go back to when they were babies, watch them again, with more intent. Live life on purpose, instead of flying by the seat of my pants. And then I realize...they might not be who they are if I cold change anything. So I give up that dream and I watch them, wondering where they shall be one day.
Amazing how you can live a life in one weekend.
The Teenager was home for 5 days. We had a few snarls, but nothing major, and she's making concessions she was never able to make before.
And I heard the word "College" from her for the very first time, with intent, instead of derision. She has no idea where, she has no idea what, but it's there. She even has some oddly unique opportunities because of being in the state system the last 18 months. Strange how things work, isn't it?
And my sanity maker came home from her very first youth group ski trip, with her hands full of information on colleges, her eyes all aglow, with very specific direction. She knows where, she knows what.
It's so strange to watch them slouch through the house, stride with purpose through the house, chatter to each other and recall in a flash, how small and dependent they once were. I see them as a child, yet suddenly, in front of me, here are two incredibly gorgeous women. Where did they come from?
Oh yeah. Me.
I wish I could slow down time or even stop it for while, go back to when they were babies, watch them again, with more intent. Live life on purpose, instead of flying by the seat of my pants. And then I realize...they might not be who they are if I cold change anything. So I give up that dream and I watch them, wondering where they shall be one day.
Amazing how you can live a life in one weekend.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Mom! UR SO KEWL! Or You can breathe now
So she's home.
And I know, my heart skips several beats.
One because she's HOME. Not forever yet, but she's home. And two, because when you hold your breath long enough, your heart will skip a beat.
Yes, I still hold my breath when she's home. I'm afraid I will for some time to come, even when she's home for always and all eternity. Or at least until she leaves for college-which she finally has plans for.
And I may well even still hold my breath for quite sometime after at. Even when I see Christ shining completely from her eyes, I'm honestly afraid I will hold my breath.
But now, for a short time, I let myself breath as we pretend we're friends. As I share all the poor choices I made as a teen. And in college. And after college. And just last week. Just for one brief shining moment, we are less than enemies, more than mother and daughter. We are comrades in stupid. Bosom buddies in "Really? No WAY!" We are blood sisters in the look that tells me I am no longer seen as the master of the controls, but human. Real. Of flesh and blood and emotion. Of pain felt, choices made that determine our future and all too often, taint our past.
Suddenly, she realizes that the old woman, gray streaking her hair, size 14 jeans instead of the slender size 4 I once was-before her shining presence filled my growing and eager belly) wrinkles not seen in that senior picture which her brother gallantly declared upon spying "Momma! You was pretty! I liked you then!
Might
Just
Really
Understand.
Suddenly, Mom is cool.
Mom is real.
Mom is
Someone she can actually talk to without reservation, and still, amazing,
Love her for WHO SHE IS. Because Mom once did the exact same thing, and stunningly enough, quite a few things not recommended for teenaged daughter to try at home, because the stunts previously aired on this channel were performed by a (not) professional that the teenaged daughter had never even considered
And oh yeah, Mom is NOT a SuperMom, despite all her hopes.
No sleep until 3:30 in the morning is kryptonite to this old, graying woman.
And maybe, I can breathe a little easier now while she's home.
And I know, my heart skips several beats.
One because she's HOME. Not forever yet, but she's home. And two, because when you hold your breath long enough, your heart will skip a beat.
Yes, I still hold my breath when she's home. I'm afraid I will for some time to come, even when she's home for always and all eternity. Or at least until she leaves for college-which she finally has plans for.
And I may well even still hold my breath for quite sometime after at. Even when I see Christ shining completely from her eyes, I'm honestly afraid I will hold my breath.
But now, for a short time, I let myself breath as we pretend we're friends. As I share all the poor choices I made as a teen. And in college. And after college. And just last week. Just for one brief shining moment, we are less than enemies, more than mother and daughter. We are comrades in stupid. Bosom buddies in "Really? No WAY!" We are blood sisters in the look that tells me I am no longer seen as the master of the controls, but human. Real. Of flesh and blood and emotion. Of pain felt, choices made that determine our future and all too often, taint our past.
Suddenly, she realizes that the old woman, gray streaking her hair, size 14 jeans instead of the slender size 4 I once was-before her shining presence filled my growing and eager belly) wrinkles not seen in that senior picture which her brother gallantly declared upon spying "Momma! You was pretty! I liked you then!
Might
Just
Really
Understand.
Suddenly, Mom is cool.
Mom is real.
Mom is
Someone she can actually talk to without reservation, and still, amazing,
Love her for WHO SHE IS. Because Mom once did the exact same thing, and stunningly enough, quite a few things not recommended for teenaged daughter to try at home, because the stunts previously aired on this channel were performed by a (not) professional that the teenaged daughter had never even considered
And oh yeah, Mom is NOT a SuperMom, despite all her hopes.
No sleep until 3:30 in the morning is kryptonite to this old, graying woman.
And maybe, I can breathe a little easier now while she's home.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Ready for spring
The warmer days are making me antsy for spring. I am ready to clear out the old, dead growth from last year and get new in the ground.
We're planning on scattering wild flower seeds and sunflower seeds in the front yard. Who has time to mow a lawn with as much as we have to do here? I love the deliberate chaos look I've seen in some places, so I'm hoping to try that.
The southern side yard will be getting a hoop house this year also. I'm not sure if I want to build a frame and connect it to the side of the house, or just put the hoop house up as normal, and secure it against the wind.
Upon further discussion with a friend, we're actually looking at the old garage for a second barn, using it as the main animal barn and the one we spent this last year building as a hay storage area. Regardless, we're going to take a weekend clean out the garage finally, and tear it down. We've also got the original barn on the property to finish tearing down. Thankfully, there's a place in town that will pay us for the metal.
We're looking at fresh meat birds, fresh egg layers(the 10 we bought in October did not survive the harsh cold...lesson learned? No baby chicks in winter)
I'm ready. Spring can't come soon enough or me!
We're planning on scattering wild flower seeds and sunflower seeds in the front yard. Who has time to mow a lawn with as much as we have to do here? I love the deliberate chaos look I've seen in some places, so I'm hoping to try that.
The southern side yard will be getting a hoop house this year also. I'm not sure if I want to build a frame and connect it to the side of the house, or just put the hoop house up as normal, and secure it against the wind.
Upon further discussion with a friend, we're actually looking at the old garage for a second barn, using it as the main animal barn and the one we spent this last year building as a hay storage area. Regardless, we're going to take a weekend clean out the garage finally, and tear it down. We've also got the original barn on the property to finish tearing down. Thankfully, there's a place in town that will pay us for the metal.
We're looking at fresh meat birds, fresh egg layers(the 10 we bought in October did not survive the harsh cold...lesson learned? No baby chicks in winter)
I'm ready. Spring can't come soon enough or me!
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